MUST RELIGION BE
BORING?
LETTER
TO A BORED CATHOLIC
----------------------------
© 1999 Rev. T. G. Morrow
With Ecclesiastical Permission
Dear
Titus,
You
say you find religion boring? I’m not surprised. You told me you attend Mass
every Sunday, you confess twice a year and you pray about three minutes a
night before retiring. This is a perfect formula for boredom!
Boredom
is, I believe, one of the most common reasons for people to give up the faith,
especially among the young. So many have tried the faith (half-heartedly) and
found it wanting.
Many
bored people are so because they have quick, active minds. Life just moves too
slowly for them. So, some of them make their own excitement, and eventually,
alas, end up in jail, or addicted to some substance or immoral activity. But,
others, with the same sort of mind, have found a way to get through the
boredom and discover that goodness is ultimately more stimulating, interiorly,
than evil. We call them saints.
St.
Augustine lived with his mistress for 14 years before leaving his “cruel
slavery to lust” and discovering the beauty of God. St. Teresa, even
as a nun, delighted in (too many) visitors to her convent and could not wait
until prayer was over, until she forced herself to pray and began to find its
delight. St. Margaret of Cortona lived as a nobleman's mistress for nine years
before finding peace in prayer and penance. St. John Bosco used his acrobatics
to evangelize his peers, and often settled debates with his fists before his
conversion was complete. He said he would have become a terrible sinner had he
not become a priest.
So
how did the saints deal with boredom? In two ways, I suggest: first, they
learned how to cope with early boredom in the spiritual life; second, they
overcame boredom by discovering the interior excitement of a strong spiritual
commitment. Once they got going, there was never a bored saint!
DEALING
WITH BOREDOM
The
first thing you must face is that a certain amount of boredom is absolutely
inevitable in any worthwhile endeavor. Athletes are bored (and sored) by
weight-lifting at first, until they see how it helps their performance; med
students and law students are bored with all the reading they must do early
on; saints are bored with prayer, until they begin to taste its results.
One
delightful young woman who left a life of drinking and sex, said she forced
herself to pray the rosary even though she could hardly stand it. Later, when
she was a daily communicant, she spent an hour a day before the Blessed
Sacrament in prayer and commented, “I just love that hour of prayer every
morning. It makes my day!”
In
fact, if you've been involved in premarital sex or pornography or other
stimulating activity, you will find the early stage of prayer even more boring
by comparison. No matter. You have to sweat it out anyway.
There
is drudgery in every worthwhile project. Would you expect the task of gaining
eternal life to be an exception? Of course it's boring at first! Jesus never
said it would be easy to get to the Kingdom. He said, “Narrow
is the gate and hard is the way that leads to life and there are few who find
it” (Mt. 7:14). Elsewhere he said “If anyone
wishes to come after me, he must deny his very self, take up his cross and
follow in my steps” (Mk. 8:34). The first cross of a Christian is
boredom at prayer.
A
nice thing happens when you start to really pray: it gets easier. As St. John
Vianney said, “The more you pray, the more you want to pray.”
UNNECESSARY
BOREDOM?
But,
don't endure unnecessary boredom by taking on too much at once and making
things impossible for yourself. True, Jesus said that to be saved you must
love God “with all your heart, soul and mind, and love
your neighbor as yourself” (Mt. 22:39-39) But, you can't get there
overnight. You can't decide, “Tomorrow I'm going to
start praying an hour and a half a day,” and expect to be successful.
You'll soon give up.
This
happened to one young man, who heard a talk about the faith and decided to
start going to Mass and pray the rosary daily. He fizzled out after a couple
of months. Fell back to almost nothing.
Use
psychology on yourself. You wouldn't expect to bench press 250 pounds the
first time you try, would you? Or, run a four minute mile? It takes time to
get into these things and it takes time to get into prayer.
Begin
with something small, something you are certain you can handle, but something
significant! You should commit to a minimum amount of prayer daily if you hope
to be saved. Alphonsus Ligouri said “Those who pray
are saved; those who do not are damned.” Strong words, but true.
Think
for a minute. How much time could you give to God each day in prayer? Half an
hour? Fifteen minutes?
How
about five minutes a day. Peanuts, right? Chicken feed. But if you did it
every day without fail for six months, you'd have the beginning of a decent
prayer life. After six months, you could ask the Lord to give you the grace to
do a bit more, but don't think about that now. Just go for the five minutes
minimum for six months.
“What
if I want to do more one day?” you ask? Sure, go ahead. But keep your
minimum at five minutes until you have a good strong habit. Only then should
you increase it.
“What
if I'm ready to increase it after three months?” you ask? Certainly,
why not. But just add a small amount, say three to five minutes more. Better
to grow too slowly than grow too fast and risk falling back. And, remember,
weekends are hardest to keep up because you have a different schedule.
“What
if I'm certain I can go with ten minutes to start?” Sure, go ahead.
Some people can do that, or more. But few can commit to more than fifteen
minutes a day at first. Know what you can do; be generous, but be smart, and
know your limitations.
WHAT
TO PRAY?
“So
what am I going to pray for five or ten minutes, Our Father's, Hail Mary's and
Glory be's?” No, not unless you want to push this boredom thing to
the wall.
Try
something more interesting. Try meditating on the life of Christ. You could
use Scripture...
“You
mean I have to lug a Bible around with me when I want to pray?” No,
you could meditate on the mysteries of the Rosary. Each one is based on
Scripture and each takes about three minutes.
“But
all those Hail Marys—don't tell me that's not boring, to repeat these
prayers over and over.” It would
be if you were thinking about the words of the Hail Marys. But, in the Rosary,
you don't think about the words of the Hail Marys, but about the mystery.
“And
if I don't know the mysteries?” Learn them! There are only fifteen.
Ask your priest or one of the parishioners for a leaflet. Or, pick up a
booklet. There are scores of different booklets and leaflets available. In the
meantime meditate on some you do know, e.g., the crucifixion, the
resurrection, etc.
“What
about the Apostle's Creed, and knowing which mysteries to say for what
days?” you ask. Forget all that to start. Skip the intro and say whatever
mysteries you want, to start. Later you can bring in these other elements.
“Where
should I pray? Does it have to be in church?... On my knees?” No, not
to begin. You can pray anywhere, and virtually any time. In your car, on the
subway, in your room, sitting in a chair, lying down, even while you're
falling asleep. One woman used to pray a decade riding the ski lift. Be
creative. Take time wherever you find it. If you can pray before the Blessed
Sacrament, that's best, but start wherever you can. Little by little, make
your prayer more devout, by place and posture.
“That’s all there is to it? Just meditate on two or three mysteries a day? Will this really make the faith more interesting?” Guaranteed.
THE
SAINTS
But
there is more. Prayer is never enough. You have to become a new person if you
expect to live with God in his Kingdom, in a kind of marriage. You have to
change and become holy. You need to get to know the saints.
“But
they're all dead!” Alas, you're right, yet how they lived! If you
want to find your way in this world, and into the next, you need some good
guides, people who have made it. We have about 5,000 of these in the Catholic
Church. When you read their lives you see that they struggled with the same
things we do, but they never gave up. They knew the purpose of life and they
lived it to the full. And, they were happy.
What
I'm saying is that if you read books on the saints (not just anthologies) you
will be inspired. You will see the pitfalls of life, the true virtues. You
will want to live a strong spiritual life. You'll be motivated. Motivation is
the key to living a holy life.
Prayer
will open your mind to the lives of the saints; reading their lives will make
you want to pray more.
Discouraged by the lives of the saints? Do they set impossible standards? Indeed they do. Impossible for them, too, without grace. Ah, with grace... nothing is impossible.
OTHER
MOTIVATIONS
There
are many other motivations to live a holy life, other than the example of the
saints. First, when we get lazy, we should remember that we have all received
an engraved invitation to hell, and it's easy to get there. Jesus said as
much: “Go in through the narrow gate, for wide is the
gate and broad is the road that leads to ruin, and many go in through it...”
(Mt. 7:13). Look around, look at the people on TV. Do many of them look like
they're trying to make it to the Kingdom? Do you think you're immune from
being drawn into the powerful vortex of evil around you? There but for the
grace of God go you or I.
Another
motive for holiness is the different levels in heaven. Imagine heaven as being
married to the most beautiful, delightful, faithful, etc. spouse you could
conceive of, and suppose you would spend as much time each day with this
irresistible person as you spent in prayer each day on earth. In fact, it's
something like that. Jesus said “The Son of man...
will repay each one according to his conduct,” (Mt 16-27). Our
happiness in heaven will be proportioned to our love and goodness on earth
(Council of Florence). Live a holy life and you'll be that much happier for
all eternity. People wait hours to get good seats for the super bowl and that
lasts only a few hours. This “super bowl”
will last forever!
There
is yet another strong motivation to work at the spiritual life: purgatory. St.
Augustine wrote “The fire of purgatory will be more
severe than any pain that can be felt, seen or conceived in this world.”
St. Thomas Aquinas said virtually the same thing. If you live a holy life here
by prayer and penance, you could avoid much if not all of purgatory. St.
Teresa of Avila wrote, “Let us strive to do penance in
this life. How sweet will be the death of those who have done penance for all
their sins and need not go to purgatory!” If you want to be
motivated, just read a good book on purgatory (for example, Purgatory by F. X.
Schouppe, S. J.).
There
is one final motivation to live a holy life: living the faith halfway is a
real bore. Living it not at all is too costly—it leads to eternal boredom
and misery. Don’t be fooled by the tinsel of this world. True holiness is
the best antidote for boredom in this life, and the only way to the eternal
joy, excitement and ecstasy of the Kingdom.
Hope
to be there with you. What a delight!
Sincerely
in Christ,
Father
M.
Catholic Faith Alive!
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